she smelled like a LAN party
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
