Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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