If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
