We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We need a shit load of segways right now
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
