Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
