I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
