why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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