If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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