The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
