When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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