nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
