Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
