I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
