Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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