Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
