who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
