Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
