Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
