All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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