You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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