Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this boner is exhausting
I checked into jail on foursquare
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
