her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
