worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
