this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
