Please, let me fuck your mom
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
