what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
