No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
