i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
third nipple confirmed
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
