Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
