Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
