You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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