So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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