What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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