I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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