3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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