This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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