i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
