I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
