i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dicks are not precious.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
