If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she peed on how many people?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
