Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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