I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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