I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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