I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
