had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
