Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
