you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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