you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
