what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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