Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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